So I keep old letters/ emails / texts that I think are funny and I came across this one today that may or may not have made me laugh out loud. I wrote it. Is that cocky? Maybe...and don't care, I can be damn funny when I put my mind to it.
This particular letter is about my roommate Kelly that joined our football team in the middle of the season and a few of the other teams contested it. So we had to go to the matrices and defend her being on the team.
This letter was to Lauren, the Relief Society Football Commissoner and her trusty assistant, Kurt (who was the one that actually knew the rules of football :) )
________
Well we all know that if there is a "Bandwagonner" in the bunch, it would be Kelly Marie Bryant. Hi can I say UCLA or Lakers! It must be the last name.
I have gone back in my journal of Bernadine happenings and this is what I have recorded:
This is my thoughts and feelings on the subject. Do what you will. If its Green bitching its a valid concern, if its any other team lets say RED or BLUE. Then tell them to blow it out their ear! If you Lauren do not feel that it is fair that she play, then so be it. We won't die. But may I point out that she has been on the roster since the beginning and baked goods in your future will be looking mighty grim or may have questionable contents such as razor blades, bug legs and Rocky Mountain Oysters.
I want it too be fair. It only makes bragging all the more valid!
Yours in Football!
Jen and Barry (given those complaining the hearty salute!)
I LOVE FOOTBALL!
This particular letter is about my roommate Kelly that joined our football team in the middle of the season and a few of the other teams contested it. So we had to go to the matrices and defend her being on the team.
This letter was to Lauren, the Relief Society Football Commissoner and her trusty assistant, Kurt (who was the one that actually knew the rules of football :) )
________
Well we all know that if there is a "Bandwagonner" in the bunch, it would be Kelly Marie Bryant. Hi can I say UCLA or Lakers! It must be the last name.
I have gone back in my journal of Bernadine happenings and this is what I have recorded:
- October 20, 2009: Kelly ate two
helpings of Pork Ribs at School lunch
- October 21, 2009: Kelly comes down
with Swine Flu symptoms
- October 23, 2009: Six kids in Kelly’s
class are home sick with the swine flu, they also had the spare ribs.
*Note - stay away from school lunch spare ribs, scratch that, stay
away from school lunch in general
- October 24, 2009: Jen gingerly asks
Kelly if she will be attending the game, Kelly throws things as poor unsuspecting
Jen. Jen cries, but is brave in front of Kelly "Bitch Slapping"
Bryant. Jen recovers and Black crushes Blue - Jen does victory dance.
- October 26, 2009: Kelly goes to the
doctor and is a confirmed case of the Piggie, Piggie and bad school lunch
- October 26-31, 2009: Kelly stays home
from work and is willing to put her roommates in mortal danger with her
germy hooves. Kelly coughs 14,589 times throughout the week.
- October 31, 2009: Black loses to Red.
I was gallivanting in
- November 3, 2009: Jen goes to practice
without Kelly because she was yet again verbally and physically abused by
Kelly for bringing her homemade soup, rolls and cleaning her room.
- November 7, 2009: Black plays Green
and is verbally abused by Marilyn...Jen finds in funny and thinks Marilyn
should learn that blocking means that there needs to be some form of
physical contact and it is not always going to feel like a pillow
fight. Kelly is at her new ward temple trip trying to hit on guys in the
Celestial Room. The trip was not fortuitous since all males there were
over 75.
- November 10, 2009: Kelly attends her
first practice, doesn't know the plays and keeps getting confuse as to
which Kelly Dusty is talking too.
- November 12, 2009: Kelly verbally
abuses Jen yet again.
This is my thoughts and feelings on the subject. Do what you will. If its Green bitching its a valid concern, if its any other team lets say RED or BLUE. Then tell them to blow it out their ear! If you Lauren do not feel that it is fair that she play, then so be it. We won't die. But may I point out that she has been on the roster since the beginning and baked goods in your future will be looking mighty grim or may have questionable contents such as razor blades, bug legs and Rocky Mountain Oysters.
I want it too be fair. It only makes bragging all the more valid!
Yours in Football!
Jen and Barry (given those complaining the hearty salute!)
I LOVE FOOTBALL!
Comments
Post a Comment