I may be breaking-up with Jake. Not by any fault of his. I just don't know how I feel. We has a long talk last night and I was very honest. I told him the debt scares me and that he was more invested than I was. I told him that being honest with him makes me sound like an Asshole. I am sure that it was hard to hear what I think, but he never said what reservations he has about me...which sucks I am painfully aware that I am NOT flawless.
I just don't know what to do, but it ended with him asking me to pray about it and a request to call him next week. I HATE feeling unsettled!
On a positive note, Todd came over last night (that is not the positive part) and I realized that I love him as a friend, but he DOES NOT deserve me and I will not waste anymore time on the thought of us making a go of it. I will possibly be the Best Man at his wedding and I will make him wear a bridesmaids dress at mine.
I just wanted to give you the update. I have a lot of thinking and praying to do this weekend I guess. I just wish someone would tell me what to do so I can feel settled in the decision. I hate the uncertain and the unknown. Risk doesn't scare me, but risk without a plan does. Grrrrr!
Loves
I just don't know what to do, but it ended with him asking me to pray about it and a request to call him next week. I HATE feeling unsettled!
On a positive note, Todd came over last night (that is not the positive part) and I realized that I love him as a friend, but he DOES NOT deserve me and I will not waste anymore time on the thought of us making a go of it. I will possibly be the Best Man at his wedding and I will make him wear a bridesmaids dress at mine.
I just wanted to give you the update. I have a lot of thinking and praying to do this weekend I guess. I just wish someone would tell me what to do so I can feel settled in the decision. I hate the uncertain and the unknown. Risk doesn't scare me, but risk without a plan does. Grrrrr!
Loves
Okay first, I think all the unsettling feelings may be a bit of a sign. Its natural to have a bit of doubt or concern for taking risks. But your uneasiness has been constant from the beginning.
ReplyDeleteIts better to be honest now and let him know exactly what your concerns are then let it get farther when you both get hurt!
And yay for Todd just being a friend.
NOW, lets go play in the mud!!